Friday, October 13, 2017

Better safety than sorry-ty

Having immediately dismissed the "threat" implied by Tony "Monobrow" McGee, the world's only New Jersey cockney, we resumed party planning. However, in spite of the absurdity of McGee's attempt at being ominous, I thought it might be a good idea to look at our safety measures. After all, it's not every day we open the UnbelievaBase to the hoi polloi. With that in mind, I assembled our Pre-Holiday Gala Event Security Planning Squad (or PHGESPS, which is easy to pronounce if you hold your nose and sneeze) for an inspection of the facility and a logistics review.


SECURITY


Duh. I shouldn't even have to mention this.

FIRE SAFETY
Can't have our guests burning up now, can we?

COMMUNICATIONS
"Can you hear me now?" Yes. Yes, I can.

FIRST AID
To your health!

HOUSEKEEPING AND SANITATION
Cleanliness is next to security, fire safety and basic first aid.

SECURITY
I already mentioned that? Oh well, you can never be too secure.

NAVAL OPERATIONS
We're nowhere near any water. Still, just to be sure...

AIR SURVEILLANCE
An eye in the sky is worth two in the hand.

ANIMAL CONTROL
Nothing ruins a nice evening like a sudden infestation of rabid forest creatures.

GENDER EQUALITY
Not really a safety concern, but never let it be said that The Unbelievables are anything but inclusive.

SCIENCE
Rogue robots run a muck? Not at this soiree. Party on, Darth.

THE OCCULT AND DARK ARTS
Is magic real? Probably not. Maybe. I don't know. Why chance it?

SECURITY
I may have mentioned this previously. Just making sure we have it covered, so to speak.

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