Here's the thing: First, you have to understand I'm the last of the three to "draw" from the hat. And that means you have to know shenanigans from my partners in crime(fighting) are surely to ensue when I come up to bat.
Don't get me wrong: Being last has its advantages at times. This time? Not one of them ...
"Your turn, Michael! Get out here! Jeff and I are waiting!" Clark called to me a little too enthusiastically while I was somewhere down the hall in our Unbelieva-digs earlier this week.
"Let me stop what I'm doing and come satisfy your whim, Clark ..." I called out. I was brushing my teeth at the time, I didn't have pants on (I know ... shocking) and really wanted to jump in the shower ... but ...
I entered the office where Clark and Jeff were beaming with delight, obviously at something I was unaware. Jeff was stifling snickers and Clark was outright doubled over from laughter prior to me making my appearance.
"Jeff's got the hat. Reach in and grab a name ... no peeking!" Clark commanded.
I stuffed my hand inside the hat. I could feel at least a dozen folded pieces of paper at the bottom of the thing and I swished them around a bit, finally drawing one out.
I looked at it while unfolding it, flipped it from being upside down once opened, then put my hand on my hip:
The name I'd drawn was Roy Orbison.
"Funny. You guys are a laugh riot ..." Jeff's snickers began anew and Clark did his best to bite the inside of his cheek to stop any further guffawing from taking place.
Jeff held out the hat once again. I drew another piece of paper.
Janis Joplin.
I drew again.
Gene Autry. Really.
And again.
"All right ... you guys have had your fun. How many more dead people are in the hat?!?"
"You've actually - and amazingly - picked out each and every dead one," Clark confessed. "We don't know how you did it, but you're good, You. There're none but the living left in the hat from this point forward ..." he assured me.
"... uh, huh ..." I countered and stuck my hand in one last time.
And let me tell you, Weird Al is no piece of cake to get hold of. The best I was able to do was get in contact with his publicist who informed me his 2½ year-long tour which ended last October really took a toll on him. Translation: It was not possible to speak with Al directly. When I revealed my intentions, the publicist said the best he could do was pass along what he thought were some of Al's favorites.
Naturally, I was skeptical. But there wasn't much I could do about it in light of Al being on the sly.
So here's what I was able to glean. First? "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen. Why? I have no clue ...
Secondly - and not so surprisingly - the Blue Swede version of "Hooked On A Feeling" ...
Lastly - and most troublingly - 10CC's "I'm Not In Love." I don't want to know why ...
Now, guys: Can we get back to some real blood and guts crime type stuff? Because this week sort of creeped me out ...
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