Invest in a moustache pen. Ladies will flock to your side.
|Yeah, we jingled his bells REAL good.|
|I gotta tell you, this organization is first class all the way.|
|"Where are you going? I was not quite finished hugging you! Wait...okay, never mind. I am done now."|
|In order: drug smuggling ring, plagiarists, and international donut thieves. We busted them all.|
|How'd this come about?|
|I'm talking about the kind that involves wigs and flintlocks.|
|Go for it, girls! I for one am lobbying the International Olympic Committee to have Lingerie Pillow Fighting recognized as a bona fide Olympic Sport.|
|I'll be in my room till Wednesday.|
|Even the horrible, disgusting man-toddler Henri Petit at least knows how to rock a sweater vest.|
SP: You there, peasant. You are starving and smell of cholera and filth. Yet you play so beautifully upon that lyre. Sell the instrument to me for a gold farthing and get yourself some food and bathing.
PEASANT: But kind sir, the lyre is my only earthly possession.
SP: Hmmm, well, sell it to me anyway for a farthing and get yourself some food, bathing and gainful employment. I will allow you to retain ownership rights to the instrument but will keep it in my care until such time that you can re-pay me and regain possession of it.
PEASANT: So you take my property until I pay you back your farthing and then return my property to me?
SP: TWO farthings.
PEASANT: How am I to earn two farthings?!?
SP: I shall rent you use of the lyre and you will travel about the land, playing it at street fairs and festivals. I shall retain a portion of the proceeds, as well as additional fees for booking, marketing, merchandising and future works, such as recordings when they are invented. PEASANT: Okay, THAT sounds like an implicitly fair arrangement. Deal!
|Yes, he also invented the recording industry at the same time.|
|I have no idea.|
|'Tool' is right.|
|Um, FYI, Schmendrick, you already see in HD.|
|I actually quite like this one.|